ശ്രദ്ധ!

ശ്രദ്ധ!

 

'മദേഴ്‌സ് ഡേ'യോടനുബന്ധിച്ച് നടന്ന ലേഖനത്തിന്റെ ഫലപ്രഖ്യാപനം സ്കൂളിൽ, പുരസ്കാരം കിട്ടിയവരുടെ പേരുകൾഅധ്യാപിക വിളിക്കുകയാണ്.

"സുപ്രഭാതം.  നമ്മൾ 'മാതൃദിനത്തോടനുബന്ധിച്ച് നടത്തിയ ലേഖന മല്സരത്തിന്റെ  വിജയികളെ അനുമോദിക്കുന്നചടങ്ങിലേയ്ക്ക് കടക്കുന്നു. വിജയിക്കുക എന്നുള്ളത് ചെറിയകാര്യമല്ല. അഭിലാഷം, പ്രയത്നം, പ്രോത്സാഹനം, അംഗീകാരം എല്ലാമുണ്ട് അതിനു പിന്നിൽ. എന്നാൽ ഇതെല്ലാം ഉണ്ടെങ്കിലും ചിലർക്ക് വിജയം അകലെത്തന്നെ. അതിനു കാരണംവിജയികൾ സംഖ്യയിൽ കുറവല്ലേ? മത്സരാർഥികൾ ഏറെയും. പക്ഷെ വിഷമിക്കേണ്ടാ, പങ്കെടുക്കുന്നതുതന്നെ മിടുക്കിന്റെലക്ഷണമാണ്. മത്സരത്തിൽ പങ്കെടുത്തുകൊണ്ടേയിരിക്കുക. അവർക്കു സമ്മാനങ്ങൾ പിന്നീടു വന്നുചേരും."

അവർ തുടർന്നു, “സമ്മാനദാനം നിർവഹിയ്ക്കുവാൻ നമ്മുടെ മുഖ്യ അതിഥി,  ശ്രീമതി വസന്താ മേനോനെക്ഷണിച്ചുകൊള്ളുന്നു.പേരുവിളിക്കപ്പെടുന്നവർ  സമ്മാനം  സ്വീകരിക്കുവാനായി സ്റ്റേജിലേയ്ക്ക് വരണം  എന്നഭ്യർത്ഥിക്കുന്നു.”

 

ശ്രദ്ധ വളരേ ശ്രദ്ധയോടെതന്നെ ഇരുന്നു സമ്മാനംആർക്കെന്നറിയുവാൻ. 

 

“മൂന്നാം സമ്മാനം……”

“ബിജു ജോസ്,” ട്വൽഫത്‌. എ.”

 

കുട്ടി വന്നു സമ്മാനം സ്വീകരിക്കുന്നു.

 

“രണ്ടാം സമ്മാനം രണ്ടുപേർ പങ്കിട്ടിരിക്കുകയാണ്………

 

  രാഖേഷ് നായർ- നയൻന്ത്. സി

 ആൻഡ്  അന്ന മെറിൻ- ടെൻത്. ബി.”

 

കുട്ടികൾ വന്നു സമ്മാനം സ്വീകരിക്കുന്നു.

 

 ഇനി ഒന്നാം സമ്മാനം ആർക്കാണു പോയിരിയ്ക്കുന്നതെന്നു  നോക്കാം.

ഒന്നാം സമ്മാനാർഹയായിരിക്കുന്നത് പന്ത്രണ്ടാംതരംബി-യിലെ ശ്രദ്ധ മുകുന്ദാണ്. ശ്രദ്ധ മുകുന്ദ്സ്റ്റേജിലേയ്ക്കു വരൂ.”

    

മലയാളം അദ്ധ്യാപികയുടെ വാക്കുകൾ ശ്രദ്ധ അവിശ്വാസത്തോടെ ആണുകേട്ടത്. അവൾ ഒരിക്കലും അതു പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ചിരുന്നില്ല. വിഷയംകേട്ടപ്പോൾ ഒരു കൌതുകംതോന്നി,പേരു നൽകി,അത്രതന്നെ.

 

ശ്രദ്ധ മുഖ്യഅതിഥിയുടെ കാൽതൊട്ടു വന്ദിച്ചശേഷം  കൈയ്യിൽനിന്നും സമ്മാനംസ്വീകരിയ്ക്കുന്നു.

 

 “അഭിനന്ദനനം കുട്ടികളെ അഭിനന്ദനം. എല്ലാവരും അവർക്കൊരു നല്ലകൈയ്യടികൊടുക്കൂ,” അദ്ധ്യാപിക.

 

“മുഖ്യ അതിഥിയുടെ സമ്മതത്തോടുകൂടി അവൾ ആ ലേഖനം ഇവിടെ വായിയ്ക്കട്ടെ എന്ന് ഞാൻ ആഗ്രഹിയ്ക്കുന്നു."

 

അവൾ  അദ്ധ്യാപികയുടെ കൈയ്യിൽനിന്നും തന്റെലേഖനം  വാങ്ങി. തുടക്കത്തിൽഅല്പം പരിഭ്രമത്തോടെവായിയ്ക്കുവാൻതുടങ്ങി. വേഗംതന്നെ അവളുടെപരിഭ്രമം അവളോടു യാത്രപറഞ്ഞു.

 

“എൻറ്റെ അമ്മ എന്നുള്ളതാണല്ലോവിഷയം? എങ്ങിനെ എഴുതും എന്തെഴുതും എന്നൊക്കെ എനിയ്ക്കുസംശയമൊക്കെതോന്നിയിരുന്നു.അമ്മമാർ എങ്ങനെവേണം എന്തൊക്കെ ചെയ്യണം എന്നൊന്നും ഞാൻആലോചിച്ചില്ല. അനുഭവങ്ങൾ മാത്രംഞാൻ ഇവിടെകുറിച്ചിട്ടു. ഇതാ എൻറ്റെയമ്മ.”

 

'എൻറ്റെ അമ്മ'

 

എൻറ്റെ അമ്മയ്ക്കു സമംചേർക്കാൻ മറ്റൊരു അമ്മയുംകാണില്ല ഈഭൂമിയിൽ എന്നുവിശ്വസിക്കാനാണു ഞാൻആഗ്രഹിയ്ക്കുന്നത്. എനിക്കുവേണ്ടി ഒരു നാമം  തിരഞ്ഞെടുക്കുന്നതിൽ തുടങ്ങുന്നു അമ്മയുടെ എന്നിലുള്ള ശ്രദ്ധ. അങ്ങനെശ്രദ്ധ എന്നനല്ലനാമം എനിയ്ക്കു സ്വന്തം. ഞാൻ എൻറ്റെനാമം അര്‍ത്ഥവത്താക്കുവാൻ ശ്രമിയ്ക്കുന്നു എന്നാണെൻറ്റെ വിചാരം.

 

 അതിരാവിലെ അഞ്ചുമണി എന്നൊരുസമയമുണ്ടെങ്കിൽ ദൗത്യംഭംഗിയായി നിറവേറ്റാൻ സഹായം നൽകാനായി അമ്മയുടെമിഴികൾരണ്ടും അവയുടെവാതിലുകൾ തുറന്നിടുന്നു.  പ്രഭാതകൃത്യങ്ങൾകഴിയുന്നതും, അമ്മയുടെകാലുകൾ അവയുടെ  സ്വന്തംസാമ്രാജ്യത്തിലേയ്ക്കു പ്രവേശിയ്ക്കുന്നു. പിന്നീടതാ അമ്മയും,പാത്രങ്ങളും, അടുപ്പും,അരിയും,പച്ചക്കറികളും, അരിമാവും ഒക്കെക്കൂടി ചേർന്നൊരു കൈകൊട്ടിക്കളിയാണ് അടുക്കളയിൽ.

 

 എട്ടുമണിയെന്നുള്ള സമയം എത്തുമ്പോഴേക്കും ഊണുമേശ വിഭവങ്ങൾ സ്വീകരിയ്ക്കുവാൻ തയ്യാർ. പ്രഭാതപലഹാരം, അച്ഛനുംഎനിക്കും ഉള്ള ഉച്ചഭക്ഷണം, പാല്, ചായ, കാപ്പി എന്നിവയുടെ മണം മേശയിൽ നിന്നും പൊന്തിവരും.

 

 എൻറ്റെ കുട്ടിക്കാലം-നാലു വയസ്സുമുതലുള്ള പലകാര്യങ്ങളും എനിക്കോർമ്മയുണ്ട്. ഇനിപ്പറയാൻ പോകുന്നതുംഎന്റെയമ്മയെക്കുറിച്ചാണ്.

 

 എനിക്കു പനിവന്നാൽ അമ്മയുടെഉറക്കം എങ്ങോപോയോളിക്കും. അപ്പോഴൊക്കെ എന്നുടെഅമ്മ രാത്രി മുഴുവൻ എന്റെമുഖത്തേയ്ക്കുമാത്രം മിഴികൾ  നട്ടിരിക്കും. ഊഞ്ഞാലാടിയാൽ എപ്പോഴും എന്റെ പിറകിൽമാത്രം അങ്ങിനേനോക്കി നിൽക്കുന്നഎന്റെ അമ്മ. പൂക്കളിറുക്കാൻശ്രമിച്ചാൽ കൈനിറയേ പൂങ്കുല ഒടിച്ചുപിടിപ്പിക്കുന്ന എൻറ്റെ അമ്മ. തുമ്പിയെപിടിക്കാൻ പിറകേഓടിയാൽ അതിനേവേദനിപ്പിക്കരുത് എന്നുപറയുന്ന അമ്മ. “മോളെ നിന്നെ ആരെങ്കിലും  നുള്ളിനോവിപ്പിച്ചാൽ വേദനിക്കില്ലേ ? അതുപോലെ തന്നെ അതിനുംവേദനിക്കും ” എന്നുപറയുന്ന അമ്മ.

 

 ഊഞ്ഞാലാട്ടംകഴിഞ്ഞ് അമ്മഎന്നെ ആഹ്ളാദത്തോടെ  പൊക്കിയെടുക്കുമ്പോൾ ഊഞ്ഞാലിടാൻ  അനുവദിച്ച പ്ലാവുപോലുംഅതിൻറ്റെ സന്തോഷം പങ്കുവെച്ചിരുന്നു, വൃക്ഷം അതിൻറ്റെ പല്ലവംവീശി എൻറ്റെകവിളിൽ തലോടിയിരുന്നു. കാക്കകൾഞങ്ങളുടെ സ്നേഹം കണ്ടു കൊതിയൂറി “കാ…..കാ,,” എന്ന് ചിലച്ചിരുന്നു.

 

 പ്ലാവിലയും, ഓലക്കാലും, ഓമതണ്ടും, കടലാസ്സുകഷണവും നിമിഷനേരംകൊണ്ട് അമ്മയുടെ സ്വന്തംകൈകളിൽക്കൂടിമനോഹരമായ കളിപ്പാട്ടമായി മാറിയിരുന്നു. എൻറ്റെ അമ്മ ഓണക്കാലത്ത്‌ അതിരാവിലെ കുളിച്ചുകുറിയിട്ട് വിളക്കുംകൊളുത്തിപൂക്കളം നിറയ്ക്കുന്നതു കാണാൻ ഒരു പ്രത്യേക ഭംഗി തന്നെയുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. എൻറ്റെ കുഞ്ഞിക്കരങ്ങളുടെപങ്കും അമ്മ ഉറപ്പുവരുത്തിയിരുന്നു.

 

 കുളിമുറിയിൽ സോപ്പുപതപ്പിച്ചുപതപ്പിച്ചു വയറുമാത്രം ഞാൻ  തേച്ചുനിൽക്കുമ്പോഴും അമ്മ ക്ഷമയോടെ ആനന്ദത്തോടെ  നിൽക്കുന്നത്കാണാമായിരുന്നു. സോപ്പ് പകുതിതീർന്നാലും  'കുറുമ്പി'  എന്നുമാത്രം ഉരുവിട്ട് നനഞ്ഞനെറ്റിയിൽ ചുംബനംഅർപ്പിക്കും.

 

 സ്നേഹം വാരിക്കോരി എന്നിൽചൊരിയുന്നത് എൻറ്റെ പൊന്നമ്മയുടെ വിനോദമാണ്, അന്നുമിന്നും. എൻറ്റെസുഖംഎൻറ്റെസന്തോഷം ഒക്കെ അമ്മയുടെ ജീവിതലക്ഷ്യത്തിലേ മുഖ്യഘടകങ്ങൾ ആണ്. തുവർത്ത്‌ കൈയ്യിൽ എടുക്കുമ്പോൾ ഞാൻഅതുപിടിച്ചുവാങ്ങുന്നതും തനിയേ തുവർത്തുന്നതും എൻറ്റെ ചക്കരയമ്മയ്ക്കു സന്തോഷം നിറഞ്ഞഅനുഭൂതി ആയിരുന്നു. ‘മോളെ,പനി വരും' എന്നു പറഞ്ഞ് അമ്മയും കൂടിതുവർത്തിച്ചിരുന്നു. 

 

എൻറ്റെ നിർബന്ധങ്ങൾ സാധിച്ചുതരുമ്പോൾ “നീ അതിനേ കൊഞ്ചിച്ചു വഷളാക്കുകയാണ്” എന്ന് അച്ചൻ പലപ്പോഴുംപരാതിപ്പെട്ടിരുന്നു. ‘ഇല്ല നമ്മുടെപുന്നാരമോൾ ഒരു  വഷളത്തരവും കാണിക്കില്ല’' എന്ന് സംശയമെന്നിയേ പറയും എൻറ്റെമാത്രംപൊന്നമ്മ.

 

 ഒരിക്കൽ ഞാൻ ഏഴോ എട്ടോ വയസ്സുള്ളപ്പോൾ ഗ്യാസ്സ്റ്റോവ് കത്തിക്കാൻ ലൈറ്റർകൈയ്യിൽഎടുത്തു. അമ്മ എൻറ്റെകൈയ്യിൽപിടിച്ചുകൊണ്ട് എന്നെക്കൊണ്ടതുകത്തിപ്പിച്ചു.

   

 “മോൾ  കുറച്ചുകൂടി വല്യ കുട്ടിയാകുമ്പം ഗ്യാസ്ഒക്കെ  കത്തിച്ചു് അടുക്കളയിൽ അമ്മയെ സഹായിക്കണം,കേട്ടോ?” എന്ന്  മനസ്സിലാക്കിത്തന്നു.

 

എൻറ്റെ ഇഷ്ടഭക്ഷണം,പ്രിയവസ്ത്രം എല്ലാം അമ്മയുടെ ശ്രദ്ധയിൽ ഇപ്പോൾപോലും ഉണ്ട്. കുട്ടിക്കാലത്ത് എൻറ്റെപുസ്തകസഞ്ചി തയ്യാറാക്കിവെയ്ക്കുന്നതിൽപ്പോലും അമ്മയുടെ പങ്കു വലിയതായിരുന്നു. .ഇതെല്ലാം തന്നെ അമ്മ സ്വയംഅല്ലചെയ്യ്തിരുന്നത്. എട്ടുവയസ്സുമുതൽ എന്നെക്കൊണ്ട് എല്ലാം ചെയ്യിച്ചിരുന്നു എന്നുപറയുന്നതായിരിക്കും കൂടുതൽ ശരി.

വഴിചൂണ്ടിക്കാട്ടി അതിലൂടെ എന്നെനയിയ്ക്കുകയാണ് അമ്മ  അന്നുമിന്നും ചെയ്യുന്നത്. ഞാൻ അമ്മയുടെ പ്രതീക്ഷക്കൊത്തുപോകുന്നുണ്ട് എന്നാണ് എൻറ്റെവിശ്വാസം. 

 

ചെയ്തുപോകുന്ന തെറ്റുകൾ മാറ്റിവയ്ക്കാതെ അപ്പപ്പോൾ തന്നെ സ്നേഹവായ്പ്പോടെ തിരുത്തുവാൻ എൻറ്റെയീ പ്രായത്തിലും  സഹായിയ്ക്കുന്നു അമ്മ.

എന്തുകാര്യത്തിൽ ഞാൻ കൈ വെച്ചിരുന്നുവോ അവയെല്ലാം തന്നെ അമ്മയുടെ മേൽനോട്ടത്തിൽ ചെയ്യുവാൻ സമ്മതംനല്കിയിരുന്നു. അന്നും ഇന്നും വരുംവരാഴിക ക്ഷമയോട,വാത്സല്യത്തോടെ പറഞ്ഞുമനസ്സിലാക്കും.

 

എനിക്കു തോന്നുന്നു വിലക്കുംതോറും കുട്ടികൾ വാശിക്കാരായി മാറും എന്ന്. എനിക്കെൻറ്റെ അമ്മയോടുവാശികാണിയ്ക്കുവാൻ തോന്നാറില്ല. എൻറ്റെ അമ്മ അതിനവസരംതരാറില്ല. 

 

ഞാനിപ്പോൾ വലിയ  ക്ലാസ്സിൽ ആണെല്ലോ. എന്നാൽ എൻറ്റെ നല്ലയമ്മ 'പഠിക്കൂ,പഠിക്കൂ' എന്നുള്ള പല്ലവിഉരുവിട്ടു പിറകെകൂടാറില്ല. ടി.വി. കാണുന്നതിനും, കൂട്ടുകാരുമായി ഫോണിൽ   സംവദിയ്ക്കുന്നതിനും എന്ന്ക്ക് വിലക്കില്ല. സ്വയംഞാനതിനുവിരാമമിടാറാണ് പതിവ്.

 

എൻറ്റെ വീട്ടിലെ ഘടികാരത്തിനെ അനുസരിയ്ക്കാതെ ഞാൻ കിടന്നുറങ്ങിയാൽ  “പാവം,അവൾക്കു ക്ഷീണം കാണും,കിടക്കട്ടെഅല്പ്പം കൂടി” എന്നു പറഞ്ഞു അമ്മയുടെ ചുണ്ടുകൾ എൻറ്റെ നെറ്റിയിൽ അമരുന്നത് ഞാൻ അറിയാറുണ്ട്. അമ്മതൻറ്റെപണിപ്പുര ലക്ഷ്യം വെച്ചു തിരിച്ചു നടക്കുമ്പോഴേയ്ക്കും കുറ്റബോധം എന്നെ തട്ടിയുണർത്തിയിരിക്കും.

 

എൻറ്റെയമ്മയ്ക്കു പത്താംതരംവരയേ പഠിപ്പുള്ളായിരുന്നുവെങ്കിലും പതിനൊന്നാംതരത്തിൽ പഠനവിഷയങ്ങൾതിരഞ്ഞെടുക്കുവാൻ എന്നെ സഹായിയിച്ചിരുന്നു.'മോളെ സയൻസ് എടുത്താൽ നല്ലതല്ലേ? മോൾക്കിഷ്ടമുള്ളത് പഠിച്ചോളു” എന്നു മാത്രം അമ്മ പറഞ്ഞു.

 

എൻറ്റെയമ്മ എന്നെന്നുമെനിക്കൊരു പ്രചോദനമാണ്.നിങ്ങൾക്കുതോന്നിയേക്കാം മാതൃകാ മാതാവായിരുന്നോഎൻറ്റെയമ്മയെന്ന്‌. അതെ ഒരുമാതൃക തന്നെ എല്ലാഅമ്മമാർക്കും എൻറ്റെയമ്മ. ഒരുവൈടൂര്യംതന്നെയാണ്.മറ്റാർക്കുംഅവകാശപ്പെടാൻ പറ്റാത്ത പത്തരമാറ്റ്.

 അമ്മയുടെ കരുത്തും കരുതലും കാരണമാകാം ചെറുപ്രായത്തിൽ തന്നെ എനിക്കൊരുതരം ഇരുത്തം സിദ്ധിച്ചിരുന്നു.

 

എൻറ്റെ സമപ്രായക്കാരുൾപ്പെടെ എല്ലാവരിലും അസൂയ ജനിപ്പിക്കുവാൻ തക്കവണ്ണം നന്മമാത്രം നിറഞ്ഞതാണ്‌ എൻറ്റെപൊന്നമ്മ. എത്രയെഴുതിയാലും തീരാത്തത്ര ഗുണങ്ങൾ പേറുന്ന എൻറ്റെയമ്മയുടെ ഈ മകൾ എന്നെന്നും ഭാഗ്യവതി തന്നെയാണ്.

 

 ഈ  ലേഖനംവായിക്കുന്നവർക്കു തോന്നാം  അച്ഛൻ ‍ എൻറ്റെ കാര്യത്തിൽ ശ്രദ്ധ കാണിക്കുന്നില്ലേയെന്ന്.ഉണ്ട്,തീർച്ചയായുംഉണ്ട്.അത് ഞാൻ പിറകെപറയാം.

 

പക്ഷേ, ഒരു വലിയ പക്ഷെ ഇടയിൽ നിൽക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. ഇതെല്ലാം തന്നെ എൻറ്റെ ആഗ്രഹപട്ടികയിലെ ഒന്നേ,രണ്ടേ,മൂന്നേ എന്ന  ക്രമത്തിൽ ചേർത്തിട്ടുള്ള കാര്യങ്ങൾമാത്രം. ഇതെല്ലാം എനിക്കെന്റെ ജീവിതത്തിൽ കിട്ടിയിട്ടുണ്ട്. അമ്മയിൽ നിന്നല്ലെന്നു മാത്രം. എട്ടു വയസ്സിനു ശേഷം എൻറ്റെയമ്മ ഇങ്ങിനെയൊന്നും ആയിരുന്നില്ല.ഈ പറഞ്ഞ ഒരു കാര്യവുംഅതിനുശേഷം അമ്മചെയ്തുതന്നിട്ടില്ല. അമ്മയുടെ ഒരുപരിചരണവും എനിക്കുകിട്ടിയിട്ടില്ല. എന്നെയും എൻറ്റെപ്രിയപ്പെട്ടഅച്ഛനെയും, സ്നേഹനിധിയായ അമ്മൂമ്മയെയും,വീട്ടിൽ ഉപേക്ഷിച്ചിട്ട് അമ്മ വേറെ അഭയം തേടിപ്പോയി.

 

അമ്മയുടെ രീതികളും ആളുകളുടെ മുഖ ഭാവവും ശ്രദ്ധിച്ച എട്ടുവയസ്സുകാരിഎന്തോ മനസ്സിലാക്കിയതുപോലെ അമ്മയുടെകാലുകൾ പിടിച്ചു കരയുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. പാവം അവളുടെ അച്ഛനാണ് മുകളിൽപ്പറഞ്ഞ കാര്യങ്ങളെല്ലാംതന്നെ ചെയ്യാറുള്ളത്.

 

 അമ്മപോയശേഷം അച്ഛനുമറ്റൊരുവിവാഹം ഒരു തടസ്സവുമില്ലാതെ കിട്ടിയേനേം. എന്നാൽ  അച്ഛൻ എനിക്കുവേണ്ടി മാത്രംജീവിക്കുന്നു.അച്ഛൻ എനിക്ക് അമ്മയാണ്,അച്ഛനാണ്. തീർച്ചയായും എന്റ്റെ അമ്മൂമ്മയും എന്റ്റെസ്വത്തു തന്നെ. എട്ടുവയസ്സിനു ശേഷമുള്ള എല്ലാക്കാര്യങ്ങളും എന്റ്റെ

അച്ഛനെന്ന അമ്മ ചെയ്തു തന്നിരുന്നതാണ്.

 

ചിലപ്പോഴെങ്കിലും അമ്മയേക്കാണാൻ ആഗ്രഹിച്ചിരുന്നു ആ എട്ടു വയസ്സുകാരി. അപ്പോഴെല്ലാം അമ്മൂമ്മ പറയും 'അമ്മആകാശത്തിൽ ഉണ്ട്. മോള് മുകളിലേയ്ക്ക് നോക്കിക്കോളൂ.ആ നക്ഷത്രം നിൻറ്റെയമ്മയാണ്." അതുവിശ്വസിച്ച് അനന്തവിഹായസ്സിലെയ്ക്ക് മിഴികൾ നട്ടിരുന്നു അവൾ, ആ നിസ്സഹായ.

 

മഴയെങ്ങാൻ പെയ്താൽ, ഇടിയൊക്കെ മുഴങ്ങിയാൽ ആ ചെറിയകുട്ടി ഓർക്കും," അമ്മ മഴ നനഞ്ഞ്   പനിയെങ്ങാൻ വന്ന് ഇനിഅവിടെനിന്നും പോകുമോ? പനി വന്നല്ലേ ഞങ്ങളെ വിട്ടു പോയത്?”

 

“ഇശ്വരാ അമ്മയെ കാത്തോളണമേ"എന്നവൾ നിശബ്ദം പ്രാർത്ഥിച്ചിരുന്നു. എട്ടുവസ്സിലും ഇന്നത്തെ പതിനെട്ടാംവയസ്സിലുംഅവൾ അമ്മയുടെ സാരി അലമാരയിൽ നിന്നുമെടുത്ത്, അതുടുത്തുകണ്ണാടിയിൽ നോക്കും. അമ്മയിങ്ങനെ എങ്ങാനും ആണോഉണ്ടാവുക എന്ന് ചിന്തിക്കും. ഇന്നവൾക്കു സത്യം അറിയാമെങ്കിലും ആകാശത്തിലേയ്ക്ക് നിർന്നിമേഷയായിനോക്കിനിൽക്കുവാൻ പഠിപ്പിൻറ്റെ തിരക്കിലും അവൾ സമയം കണ്ടെത്തുന്നു.

 

 "ഇനി പറയൂ, ഞാൻ വിവരിച്ചനന്മനിറഞ്ഞ അമ്മ ഇപ്പോൾ എൻറ്റെയച്ഛനല്ലേ?”

 

നന്ദി,നമസ്കാരം!

 

നിർത്താതെ കരഘോഷം.

Shades of Blossom!

 The blue sky blooms, bright 

sparkling smile  spreads everywhere.

Nature a wonder!

Amidst the blooms stands

The Maid,Moon and eyes she bats

In amazement much..

Envies Lady-Earth 

her friend,Sky; wears she flowers

 Much sweet  on  her hair.

 Spoils the villain, Day

 the sky-garden, fade away

  sadly flowers all.

http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.in/

A Dreadful Determination! Part-17

The story so far:

Urmila, when she saw a familiar-looking person at a shop, slipped into her experiences since childhood. Urmila and Sharmila are sisters. The elder one Sharmila was in love with Vinod, her neighbour, even when they passed through the school-age. Father had brought proposals which she resisted tooth and nail, though she knew not the result. Two-three ones she escaped on the pretext of studies. She recalled her baby-hood memories.  All their friends, but Vinod flew away from the brood for life’s needs. Vinod was in the look out of a job. Urmila’s father, Venugopal with conventional beliefs didn’t agree for their marriage.Urmila was forced to wed Aravind. She got separated from the groom on a lie the next day itself. She had told him that she was a habitual consumer of Phenobarbital medicine. Obtaining no response from Vinod she phoned up to him. Vinod obtained a decent job and he became ready to wed Urmila. This time Vinod’s parents resisted since Urmila was a divorcee. As both remained single, the parents came down from their stance. Her companion Anupama woke her up from the dream.]

Now pl.read.

Next Sunday after washing the garbs Urmila was spreading them on the cloth-line behind her room in the hostel. The intercom of her room began to disturb her chirping vociferously.

 “Urmila, you have a visitor,” warden from ground floor.

“Visitor! Who, today?”

Urmila walked down with vigorous strides through the rungs of the staircase and got to the visitor. She opened wide her visual parts to make certain that she was not in a dream. Anand, one of her very babyhood comrades stood there with a hearty smile. He stretched hands to shake hand with her. She reciprocated just mechanically, 

“What made you make your presence here? I wondered I was dreaming.”

“O! Urmila I have not expunged our camaraderie from our childhood memories. My PG in medical course, then its subsequent super specialty and such things had clutched me tightly. Now I am here on a two weeks leave. Then I thought of visiting my friends. I had gone to your house to meet your parents also.”

“Okay, Okay, be seated anyway.”

 “Akhil Chacko and Goerge also will come by tomorrow and day after. You may know that they are in Australia. We have planned to have a get together at Bharat Tourist home here. I have selected my dame. So I am the one who is hoisting the party. Do come for that meeting. We’ll call Sharmila also. Date and all we’ll inform you.”

They had a chit-chat for a few minutes. She asked nothing about Vinod and nor did Anand mention anything about him.  Anand had had his ‘M.B.B.S’ studies in Delhi. Then his brilliance and aspiration guided him to US for further steps.  Of course his friends all visited him in his thoughts sometimes. But the assignments of his education used to set him fast to routines. He was back home on a sabbatical at the interval of studies and work.

“But Anand, don’t expect me. I have availed of almost all my leave by now. Even if it is on Sunday, I have some important engagements. I have to do the preparation for covering the syllabi, “she was in no doubt that Vinod would make his presence there.

Anand’s enthusiastic and energetic approach allowed her not to escape but nod for a half-minded aye.  It was all a planned plot of the friends, when they learned that Urmila and Vinod remained unwedded still. Sharmila, Urmila’s sister though was kept in ignorance earlier about the duo’s lure, their friends all were cheering up their courtship.

It was Anand that made the entry to home country first. He right away paid visits to Venugopals and Sreekumars and studied their views. All the disheartening occurrences had packed their days with desperation and disappointments. If truth be told both the parent-couples had become like minded in tying their descendants in wed-knot. Only thing they actually didn't know each other’s perspective.

Each party was in need of a third person’s aid to bell their cats. And so Anand’s arrival was like a  shower in summer for each couple. He informed them about the entire friends’ resolution to make the twosome’s dream materialized.  As a twist of fate favourable, Anand’s betrothal fell in between. In that connection an idea of availing of leave together popped up in the old friends’ minds. And that idea without any pause directed the friends to fly to reality. They all landed one after another on their native sand.

The partying day loomed without fail. The banquet hall merrily received all the friends. All those, who had family, arrived in pairs with their kids and Vinod and Anand who had no family reached single. Yes, Anand also was single, since his studies provided him no free opportunity to be in pair so far, though his pairing was not far.

 Sharmila’s fervent eyes travelled around. Alas! Her Chechchi’s absence smashed her basking mood. The conspicuous absence that everybody felt left all of them in poignancy.

Looking no right and left Anand tread down quickly and without a second thought he drove to Urmila’s hostel. 

 The day seemed very hot. Urmila stood on the first floor’s verandah looking at the big Jack tree in the compound.

 “It carries heavy Jack fruit for serving others. It doesn't expect anything in return,” bore she reverence for it in mind, “No human being can be like that.”

On holidays the tree took pleasure in the company of hostlers, who turned the tree-guard their gossiping seats. Whole-heartedly  the tree shaded them from the Sun. 

All of a sudden a smart man parked the car out, came in and dashed to the visitor’s room. It was none but Ananad. Urmila sensed the situation and stepped down.

“I’m sorry Anand, I have brought bundles of papers for valuation. I have no time to attend the party this time. Next time sure I’ll come,” she was disposing of Anand.

“Don’t worry, I shall help you. Give me the best paper valued; on its line I can help you,” so much sincere was his move that Urmila could not deprive him of her presence.

“Okay I’ll come and return soon. Agreed?”

“Hundred percent agreed.”

Urmila didn’t look at Vinod because she didn't want to tempt Vinod as well as her own mind; whereas Vinod’s vision covertly viewed Urmila. They all opened the folder of old sugary memories which enlivened and vitalized the atmosphere. A vibrant wave of delight exhilarated the elders and the kids. They all sang, danced, cut jokes etc. etc. Hubbub and hullabaloo had no deficit in measure, yet no participation from the very twosome’s side.

At one moment of their movements Urmila unknowingly happened to be somewhat nearer Vinod. With a swirly progress towards Urmila Anand swiftly pushed Urmila towards Vinod. His speed made Urmila slip on the vitrified tile and was about to fall down. At the spur of a moment Vinod’s reflex acted. He stretched his hands and salvaged her holding tightly.

 All these unpredictable rapid events startled Urmila and her vision at a sudden action plunged into Vinod’s eyes. She blushed bashfully. The cheers thundered there reddened her face further.

(Google Image)

P.S:     I was travelling with Urmila and Vinod and their people for a few months. Now it is time to bid adieu to them. Wish the new couple a pleasant wedded life.  And thanks to all those who accompanied me through out.

I had an idea of giving it a tragic end. But the viewers comments made me think opposite. 

There may be mistakes in the story.It was getting its shape and form among hindrances a lot of home chores.

Misty Showers!

             

Sprays season misty

Showers; hugs mother Nature

Her kids in love-arms;

 Chill  misty showers,
Wake Nature’s kids snug in mom’s

 Hugs on Night-mattress.

Turns water God, the

Magician to strings of rains

And showers of mist.

Swirls God wand; turns ha!

Water to Pretty dew-pearls

Sleet, mist, hail and fog.

Mist-showers, curtains

raise; camouflages dawn beings,

 Figures are all vague.

 

Wears Nature, the lass

 Garbs with look misty-foggy;

 Sure stylish she is.

 For http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.in/and

For https://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/2015/05/

A Dreadful Determination! Part-16

Part-16.

      

 The story so far:

Urmila and Sharmila are sisters. The elder one Sharmila was in love with Vinod, her neighbour, even when they passed through the school-age. Father had brought proposals which she resisted tooth and nail, though she knew not the result. Two-three ones she escaped on the pretext of studies. She recalled her baby-hood memories.  All their friends, but Vinod flew away from the brood for life’s needs. Vinod was in the look out of a job. Urmila’s father, Venugopal with conventional beliefs didn’t agree for their marriage.Urmila was forced to wed Aravind. She got separated from the groom on a lie the next day itself. She had told him that she was a habitual consumer of Phenobarbital medicine. Obtaining no response from Vinod she phoned up to him. Vinod obtained a decent job and he became ready to wed Urmila. This time Vinod’s parents resisted since Urmila was a divorcee. As both remained single, the parents came down from their stance.]

Now pl.read.

  “Ay! What are you doing here? Are you dreaming? Didn’t you buy anything? I have spent a lot of time in selecting these things. If all the items are pretty, it is difficult to select, ,” a series of questions and statements arose from Anupama, when she got seated near Urmila.

Urmila’s friend, Anupama wanted to purchase some baby garbs and toys for her girl baby. Urmila was to buy some arrays for herself. Anupma went upstairs to procure her needs asking Urmila to select her items from the ground floor. Both the ladies are now the faculty members of a reputed college in Cochin City.

 They were fast friends and at times they went for shopping together even if it was for one person. They both had gone to the textile house in the super market after the classes of that day. And thus the person who Urmila saw with a similitude of some familiar face sent her memory to the backyard of time. So after rummaging half-minded around the garment area, she had occupied a seat arranged for refreshments in the shop. Her mind taking leave of her motive, moved after that individual.

That was why she went on a journey over the entire episodes of the past. Though she was not much sure about his identity, his chic way of dressing had thrown some light upon her one-day-familiar ex-husband.  Again the twosome-the owner of the familiar face and his companion- came back to the mall to exchange his purchase with something else. After that he passed through the   area where Urmila had placed her body avoiding purchase. But they didn’t fall into his views.

“See; see Anupama, I think I know that man.”

“How? He is Aravind.  He is staying in an apartment in our flat-complex for the last one and a half years. Do you know him?”

“Yes, very well. Is he married?”

“Yea, he has two kids also”.

“What happened to you, Urmila? Who is he? Is he from your village?”

“No, I’ll tell you everything. It is a big story.”

Aravind had changed his job forgoing a small loss in his salary because he preferred his indigenous state to settle down.And thus he had hired an apartment in Anupama's neighbourhood.

Anupama was eager to get unearthed the story that lay underground with Urmila. She drove her friend to a restaurant nearby and both sat on either side of a coffee-table.

 After concluding the story, “I am happy now, I enjoy this life in a working-women’s boarding-building. No botheration, no compulsion; if you want, you eat; if you don’t, don’t,” Urmila.

“Don’t be silly, we have only one life, we should live it fully. We have to undertake family challenges. Otherwise what is the use of life?”

“Now it is late, Anupama, leave it. And I don’t want a marriage against his parents’ wish. Vinod and I don’t have any contact now. Actually I don’t know what he thinks about me now.”

“What late? You are in early thirties. Don’t say anything like that. If not Vinod, marry somebody else. Don’t surrender before set-backs.”

“No, Anupama I have decided to live like this. I don’t want to repeat anything.”

“Don’t speak foolishly, get married quickly,” Anupama, being slightly elder was using the right of a sister.

Urmila grinned coolly without expressing any emotion. Anupama couldn’t read anything on her visage. Both departed for their asylum.

Urmila had ceased her phone-calls with Vinod and she had totally left the idea of entering into a wed-lock. She sought the amity of books including some scriptures to recoup her loss in love. She was slithering more into a spiritual level. But one could not say that she had renounced the material life.

Occasionally she visited her parents and Sharmila, who was a mother of two now. Urmila presented herself for her sister’s nuptials as if she was only a relative. She just did what she was told. Her gloom did not allow her to sparkle hither-thither.

One day Urmila visited Sharmila who was a resident of Trivandrum. She loved the company of Sharmi’s diminutive tots and they reciprocated in their lovable ways.

  “Vinod is still a bachelor,* chechchi. I heard he doesn’t obey his parents to marry someone,” Sharmila was trying to create a spark in her sister’s mind.

“So what! Sharmi. I can’t do anything in that,” Urmila smiled as if she was hearing some news about an alien person.

“What happened to you, Chechchi? Why are you punishing Vinod? He didn’t do any wrong to you.”

“A marriage with his parents’ support is difficult and I’m not for any other method, Sharmi. Now leave it, it is a closed chapter.” 

Next morning she departed from there nodding in denial for all the attempts of Sharmila.

So far neither Urmila asked anyone about Vinod nor did anyone inform her anything about him. Rather none possessed the fortitude to break the ice. But she knew that in spite of her earlier request to Vinod, finding someone suitable, he had sought bachelorhood. But that information also made no ruffles in her decision.

One day Anupama to her better half Rajesh, “………….and this is what happened with Urmila. Shan't we help her?”

“Why to poke our nose into unnecessary things? If she doesn’t agree, it may turn a headache for us. Anyway let’s try,” initially it was the way Rajesh replied to his partner and then felt a little sympathetic.

He did one thing that he wiped off the black ashes of Urmila’s action from Aravind’s mind. 

* Elder sister.

A Dreadful Determination! Part-15

Urmila and Sharmila are sisters. The elder one Sharmila was in love with Vinod, her neighbour, even when they passed through the school-age. Father had brought proposals which she resisted tooth and nail, though she knew not the result. Two-three ones she escaped on the pretext of studies. She recalled her baby-hood memories.  All their friends, but Vinod flew away from the brood for life’s needs. Vinod was in the look out of a job. Urmila’s father, Venugopal with conventional beliefs didn’t agree for their marriage. Finally father held a proposal close to his heart for Urmi. He finalized it despite all the resistance from Urmila. He thought time would bless her with glee. The wedding took place. Urmila got separated from the groom on a lie the next day itself. She had told him that she was a habitual consumer of Phenobarbital medicine. Obtaining no response from Vinod she phoned up to him. Vinod obtained a decent job and he became ready to wed Urmila.This time vinod’s parents resisted since Urmila was a divorcee.]

Now pl.read

Vinod waited and waited for the wound in parents’ minds to heal. It didn’t, the time widened it instead. The tree of Time was shedding its leaves into days, months and years. Nothing turned in favour of them. Vinod at one point stepped down to the level of register marriage. Urmila straight away annulled that approach because she knew that Vinod was always against such a process and more over it might affect her dignity as a faculty member in the college.

 Finding no way out the twosome started losing hope. It that brings grandeur in man’s life is hope. It holds a person up, while drowning in distress. Hope guides one to devote more time in duty and so one attains the required result.Urmila made up her mind to accept the downbeat verdict for their litigation of love filed in the court of destiny. 

Now she learned many a thing from the environs and experiences of four-five years. Time filled in her ample maturity to think in sensible lines. More over the spiritual lectures and discourses she used to attend in the temple nearby had changed her a lot. She learned to override passion with reason. She inferred that God had not chosen Vinod as her groom. And hence arose all those hitches and hindrances.

 “Man proposes, God disposes’, but a lot many times he approves also his proposals. I’ll go with whatever he has kept in store for me. Probably my desire may not be worth-approving,” she was turning a little philosophical,“Let happen what the God has decided for us, both of us together shouldn’t suffer. You find out another girl and marry her. No use in waiting and wasting our time like this. Let’s reduce the number of our calls. May He unite us in our rebirth.”

Though miserable was the decision, she managed to calm down and console her ‘self'.

The sentences she spoke fell as a loud summer-thunder in Vinod’s aural organs. He couldn’t believe them.

“Is it Urmila who spoke like this?” he wondered. He couldn’t digest the matter.

 Nevertheless having less or nil response from Urmila, slowly he too adopted less regularity in dialing her number.At the same time the esteem he had held for her had no losswith regard to depth. He did not rather could not close the shutters of his mind solely against her. The width of the distance from mind to mind was stretching, though the heart at times, was reluctant to be far.

Urmila’s parents tried all the ways and played all the tricks on her to find a fiancé for her. They told her to find out a person of her option. Nothing ended in success. She remained cool on all the proposals. She was contented with her singleness in life. She felt as if she was a free bird perching in her own nest; she didn’t become an introvert though. She didn’t want a second person to impede her personal affairs.

Again flowers faded from herb, decade. Vinod lurked in vain. Neither his parents nor did Urmila deviate from their stance. And his parents were vigourously looking for a fiancée for their son. Vinod became more reticent and rigid. He got fully confined in his job. His visits and calls to his parents declined in number. He conversed with his parents only matter of fact.

 Their gloom began to multiply in high degrees. Hence they stepped down or had to step down to the level of accepting his affair keeping aside their unwillingness, Who would initiate it again?’ remained as an unanswered question. Their ego lurked for their son to bring forth the subject once more. In fact not ego but their fear of facing Vinod’s reaction, they locked their lips. Consenting to propose Urmila for him after all the exercises may infuriate him. Once he had given a stiff response in negation for all the proposals. He voiced very loud, “I prefer a bachelor’s life. Please do not disturb me, aren’t there unmarried people in this world?

 Eventually Vinod took a decision not to repeat the family-cycle, “I may become a father and this kind of history may repeat. I can’t predict my attitude in my fatherhood. No such impediments I have to face, if I am alone. There are so many single people with satiated lives.”  

All the philosophies slaved his mind because obtaining Urmila he felt, was Herculean. But if she came to his life, no doubt he would receive her with serene warmth and gracious tenderness.

                                                                                                                        [To be contd.]

A Dreadful Determination! Part-14

The story so far:

 Urmila and Sharmila are sisters. The elder one Sharmila was in love with Vinod, her neighbour, even when they passed through the school-age. Father had brought proposals which she resisted tooth and nail, though she knew not the result. Two-three ones she escaped on the pretext of studies. She recalled her baby-hood memories.  All their friends, but Vinod flew away from the brood for life’s needs. Vinod was in the look out of a job. Urmila’s father, Venugopal with conventional beliefs didn’t agree for their marriage. Finally father held a proposal close to his heart for Urmi. He finalized it despite all the resistance from Urmila. He thought time would bless her with glee. The wedding took place. Urmila got separated from the groom on a lie the next day itself. She had told him that she was a habitual consumer of Phenobarbital medicine. Obtaining no response from Vinod she phoned up to him.]

Now pl.read.

After nearly an hour, Vinod’s phone started speaking. As usual he said hello after the ‘hello’ from Urmila. They had chosen to say ‘hello’ after recognizing the voice from the receiving end, otherwise they would put the receiver down in the disguise of wrong call. And the caller-id concept was not common then and so their original id nobody could identify.

 “Did you call me, Urmi?”

 “Yea, you might have understood everything. No move from your side.  I’m afraid! By the by why didn’t you come for the marriage?”

 “I knew it was you, who called me. I just waited for your call. I waited for the turbulence to subside a bit at least. Don’t worry, I am with you. I didn’t come for the marriage because I was not able to see you with another person. Tell me what trick you played there?” his glee loomed in words.

 “Trick, no, seeing the frowns on my face he suspected something. He didn’t ask me anything. Though he turned morbid he left me home. People may cook a lot many stories. Let them be story-makers. I’m least bothered”.

 The sadists dance on the sentiments of one who suffers. And so there was no deficit of stories when they heard about Urmila’s immediate return. She kept the secret covert from Vinod also. She was not able to foresee Vinod’s action or reaction.

“What about your parents, Urmi?”

“ Achchan and Amma are sad. That is my worry. Otherwise I am happy.  I have an interview in Srevidya College in Cochin City next week. Achchan will take me over there. If I get that, they’ll get a relief.”

Though Vinod was not convinced by her reply, he evaded  interrogating her further, "When she becomes mine, I'll come to know the real reason."

 “ Aah! Let’s see. One thing Urmi, if I have a partner it will be by any chance you. None can enter my mind. It is full of you and you only, Urmi,”

 The exam-results, which Urmila eagerly lurked for, loomed amidst all the hitches. The   goddess of education blessed her with a laudable result that had bagged for her appreciation in abundance. She passed the news to her lover first who showered on her all sorts of adoration.

Urmila got through the interview and was selected, as she stood shining in her academics as well as the interview. And more or less she owned a stunning personality. She joined the college as a guest lecturer and that was for only six months. Subsequent to that period Urmila would be absorbed on regular basis, provided she paid a substantial amount to the management. It is nowadays a kind of deal, despite the candidate’s credible credit and caliber. Urmila’s father without a second thought sought the post for Urmila. She chose residing in a working females’ boarding house.

The earth had accomplished her revolution once. In the meantime Vinod gained an opening in a class II vacancy of a government department. He had fared well in the UPSC test and interview. It was in Hyderabad. Telephones of public booths aided them to keep their unrelenting desires intact. They had fixed time schedule to serve that purpose. Vinod had access to his official phone. He didn’t want to misuse it for his personal use.

 Gradually mobile phones also began their stay in the society.  They were given a reception full of warmth by people especially the youngsters.

 Poor land phones, they were treated secondary. Vinod and Urmila were no exception and their mobile phones acted as busy middlemen helping them transmit their courtship talk.  

  After the counselling, mediation and such other attempts, divorce from Aravind was granted by the court. Aravind stood calm and gave a firm reply in negation to the court’s question of reunion. But he never exceeded his decency and decorum and maligned not a bit Urmila’s position.

“I don’t want to continue this,” rigid was his decision and Urmila’s silence signalling parting made the process easier.

“The much cherished dream is going to be true,” words automatically leaped out of Vinod’s lips. His mind was dancing with glee and glory. The person sitting next to him in his office raised his head and drew horizontal question marks on his brows. The glee on Vinod’s face solved the puzzle occurred in his colleague’s mind.

When the track held things in way slick, Vinod took a couple of days’ leave towards the weekend to go home. He presented the matter to his father with an optimistic spirit of fullest length, for he was sure about his father’s affirmative nod.

 O! Alas, an unanticipated reciprocation was the outcome. The sound that carried the words so rude penetrated through Vinod’s ears. The words were daggers that stabbed his heart left and right. He was witnessing a visage never familiar to him so far.  

“Don’t you feel shame?  She is a divorcee. Won’t you get somebody fit for you? Her parents didn’t agree earlier; now don’t expect us to agree for this marriage, the chapter is closed, ”Sreekumar’s language was totally stern and inconsiderate.

In Urmila’s sanctuary the word wedding had been deleted from her people’s conversation. They had a sort of delicacies to talk about the topic. All were kept in dark  with regard to the reason for divorce. So they left things to the destiny.

                                                                                                                                    [ To be contd.]