Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Downpours!



 Autumnal downpours
Earth’s thirst, quench and makes her drench.
Food-paucity, prevails.

 Velvety Grassy green land, 
Trees beautify  with shady designs.
Foliage welcomes drizzle.

Coconut as nature’s sceptre
Stands straight-erect among reeds and rushes.
Gales and rains break royalty. 

Yokels under trees, yonder
Rest and chat with peace in mind.
Drizzles sprinkle  joy.

sarala

 For http://writetribe.com/haiku/

22 comments:

  1. That's a nice picture painted. Good one!

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  2. That is a great attempt !
    If I may give a suggestion - how about using crisper sentences and avoiding repetition of similar words (velvety grassy greenland, foliage, trees)
    This will make the haiku even more beautiful and help you maintain the syllable count of 5-7-5 as well !

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the suggestion.I mean here the shade of trees fall as designs on grassy velvet.Then I connected the foliage with rain.

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  3. Very soft, pleasing and picturesque poem.

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  4. Your imagination is good, I would again suggest simplifying . Hope you understood my point.

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  5. wow you have written a set! some work! all of them quite beautiful :)

    Richa

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  6. What a lush beautiful world you described. I am in awe!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  7. ahh.. the serene piece..
    I could mentally draw the picture of rain pouring :)

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  8. good one..u created a nice image of monsoon!

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  9. Loved your imagination ... this was too good!

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