Autumnal downpours
Earth’s thirst, quench and makes her drench.
Food-paucity, prevails.
Velvety Grassy green land,
Trees beautify with shady designs.
Foliage welcomes drizzle.
Coconut as nature’s sceptre
Stands straight-erect among reeds and rushes.
Gales and rains break royalty.
Yokels under trees, yonder
Rest and chat with peace in mind.
Drizzles sprinkle
joy.sarala
For http://writetribe.com/haiku/
That's a nice picture painted. Good one!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThat is a great attempt !
ReplyDeleteIf I may give a suggestion - how about using crisper sentences and avoiding repetition of similar words (velvety grassy greenland, foliage, trees)
This will make the haiku even more beautiful and help you maintain the syllable count of 5-7-5 as well !
Thank you for the suggestion.I mean here the shade of trees fall as designs on grassy velvet.Then I connected the foliage with rain.
DeleteVery soft, pleasing and picturesque poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you,madam.
DeleteYour imagination is good, I would again suggest simplifying . Hope you understood my point.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Deletewow you have written a set! some work! all of them quite beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteRicha
Thank you, Richa.
DeleteJust beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you,SG.
DeleteWhat a lush beautiful world you described. I am in awe!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
ahh.. the serene piece..
ReplyDeleteI could mentally draw the picture of rain pouring :)
good one..u created a nice image of monsoon!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteLoved your imagination ... this was too good!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThank you,sulekha..
ReplyDelete