Tuesday, March 18, 2014

High and Low!


Nowadays the new
Gen men view things in their rank.
Scorn on old, they own.

‘Knowledge is power,
Vision is victory; hold
 Vivacious men high.

 Himalayas and
 Indian Ocean edge one
Land;vary levels !

Much hard to attain
Ranks of seers' ecstasy ; good
 Deeds' bliss we obtain.

Hills and knolls stand high.
Poor rivers,streams lie low; is
Mother Earth unfair?

sarala.

This is penned for Haiku horizon's prompt 'Level'

http://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/category/haiku-horizons/












29 comments:

  1. a poem showing nature and reality. wow. cool.

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  2. Hmmmm!
    Perhaps there is a dispassionate intention to arranging things in Nature

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    1. I think only the truth is highlighted here.Thank you,Anil.

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  3. Dear Rudra...
    I loved the point you put across...
    And the choice of words...

    But one small observation...
    Haiku is a form of poetry that goes with 5-7-5 syllable count.
    Not word count. there are many sofwares available to count syllable online. Please try them...

    Looking forward to read more frm you..
    And I loved the cuteness of your blog!

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    1. I think I have followed the 5+7+5 pattern of syllables .If I have overlooked any, would you pl.point out.One was there and I corrected it.Thank you loco.

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  4. Thanks for the nice poem. Described the nature very well. Looks like your 5-7-5 is OK to me with syllable count.

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  5. Lovely how you show how landscapes balance each other. How nature has so many different awe inspiring levels. Even the balance between old and new. Brilliant!

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  6. nice work ! love them all !
    (i also love the old fashioned 575 style of haiku ! for me ,my fingers are syllable counters )

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    1. Thank you,raj. I depend on pronunciation for syll. count. and if doubt arises I try to clear it through Google or Dictionary.

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  7. Each serve their purpose-the high and low.Nice verses
    You can make sure of the number of syllables using
    http://www.wordcalc.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you ,Parththa, for the comment and guidance to syll.count.

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  8. Beautifully put Sarala, each one takes us to a wise new level :)

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    1. Sometimes syllable count can be tricky. I generally use http://www.poetrysoup.com/haiku_syllable_counter/ to verify my haiku. Unfortunately it looks like you might need to tweak your verses to put them in the standard 5-7-5 form. But like Tom pointed out overall your verses are deeply thought out.

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    2. Thank you Reshma.Even some words in different sites and also in Dictionary.So hereafter I'll follow http://www.poetrysoup.com/haiku_syllable_counter/

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  9. I loved the wisdom of your observations all throughout this piece but, I am afraid I have to agree with Locomente that the 5-7-5 syllable count is off several times in this piece. That does not detract from your wisdom of your poetry but, it does detract from billing it as haiku. I am sorry. I did like your message, however, if that helps. :)

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    1. Thank you,Tom. Will you point out the thing?

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    2. Certainly. I am a teacher from Canada and am, most respectfully, willing to answer your request.

      I will demonstrate what Locomente and I were speaking up by referring to your final two stanzas

      Hard to attain
      (Syllables: Hard (1) to (2) at- tain (3,4)

      Levels in ecstasy of seers; good
      (Lev-els (1,2) in (3) ec-sta-cy (4,5,6) of (7) se-ers (8,9); good (10)

      Deeds' bliss we obtain.
      (Deeds (1) bliss (2) we (3) obtain (4,5)

      ***So, this stanza has a 4-10-5 syllable count instead of the traditional 5-7-5 count.

      Hills and knolls stand high.
      (Hills (1) and (2) knolls (3) stand (4) high(5)

      Poor rivers and rivulets lie low.
      (Poor (1) rig-ers (2,3) and (4) riv-u-lets (5,6,7) lie (8) low (9)

      Mother Earth is unfair.
      (Moth-er (1,2) Earth (3) is (4) un-fair (5,6)

      So, the final stanza has a 5-6-9 syllable count.

      Again, I offer my pointers with the utmost of respect. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to contact me and I will gladly assist you in any way possible. :)

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    3. Thank you for your suggestions.Actually certain words remain without doubts in my mind,One or two such ones have differed in count.And sometimes I follow Oxford Dictionary by A S Hornby in which some words show difference. Eg. Ec-stacy 2,2 level 1,2, seer 1,1, river 1,1 rivu-let 2, 2 ,mother 1, un-fair 2(Dictonary & syllable counter respectively).

      Pl.view it once more.I think I have rectified it.Even Syllable counter,word count shows 2 in ecstacy and syll. counter haiku count shows 3.

      Thank you once more.

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    4. Fair enough. I consulted the Merriam Webste dictionary for ecstasy and it says three syllables. I checked the Oxford dictionary and it says two. I will leave you to your poem and the original intent of your words. Thanks and, have a good day.

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  10. This is very beautiful ... the words complimenting each other to form a nice collection :-)

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  11. This is a fine collection of poems. Good work. Well expressed and engaging thoughts.

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  12. Tom, thanks a lot I had published your last comment. It is not seen. I don't know if I have clicked it wrongly(Delete).I wanted that to be here.Anyway I am really grateful to you for your effort.

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